The 2017 Rally is special as it is the 10th Rally we have not organised.
For the tenth Non-Attendance Rally our negotiating team have pulled out all the stops and with the help of Homer, Hesiod and Pindar, finally persuaded Zeus and Hera to allow a very special visit.
We are going to the Elysian Fields and Elysium town in Hades!!!
The Elysian Fields (Elysium, Islands of the Blessed) are reserved for the souls of those who have been righteous, virtuous, heroic and blessed by the Gods. As most of you will not reach this level, we have arranged a once in a lifetime offer of a visit the Elysian Fields before you shuffle off your mortal coil.
We had to convince Cronus and Rhadamanthus that we would not disturb the peace, so please be on your best behaviour, otherwise you may be sent to Tartarus, which is nearby.
The Fields are located in the western ocean at the end of the earth next to the stream of Oceanus – the equator, 1000 leagues from Africa. There are two Elysian fields and the town of Elysium itself, separated by a very narrow strait. They enjoy warming sunshine, moderate evening rains and winds which are soft and cooling. The land has a rich soil and produces bountiful fruit and glorious crops. People are free to follow their heart and continue their most beloved pastimes. In modern day Elysium, the roads are laid for bikers to enjoy, with sweeping corners, sticky tarmac and no obstructions. Buxom women and athletic men abound, mostly with no clothes on.
Your preferred road may be similar to some on Earth, such as these;
In a secluded vale of the Elysian Fields flows the River Lethe or Leithe (meaning oblivion), whose waters had the effect of dispelling care, and producing total forgetfulness of former events. Be warned, as a visitor, DO NOT drink from the Lethe, you will forget you are a visitor and be trapped in Elysium for 1000 years.
Detailed instructions on how to get to the Elysian Fields are on the next page. However, it is a perilous journey and I recommend that you use our one time offer of transportation by Zeus. The King of the Gods himself has agreed to transport you, an honour normally reserved for his mortal relatives and specially chosen heroes. To arrange transportation, loudly and clearly ask Zeus to transport you, waving your ticket so he knows you are one of this party.